My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee

For a long time I have felt deep and abiding feelings of gratitude developing in me for the role religion plays in my life.  In a world where religion is seeming to fade, I consider myself lucky to have been born into a religious family.  Growing up I didn't always see that as lucky, but I sure do now.  My paternal grandparents are devout Lutherans.  My great grandpa was even a Lutheran clergyman.  Grandma and Grandpa Viehweg go to church nearly every Sunday.  For as long as I can remember Grandpa has always asked a blessing over the food Grandma cooks.  Christmas in their household is still very much about Christ, and is steeped in beautiful German traditions.  Grandpa still sings in small ensembles for his congregation.  I have no doubt that my Grandparents believe in God, and am thankful to them for the role they had in bringing religion into my dad's life.  I know it was hard for them to watch my dad chose the LDS church over Lutheranism, but I hope they can see that the switch in denomination only built on what they had already taught my him.
My mom's family has been member's of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints almost since the beginning.  Her ancestors joined the church in Europe around the 1850's.  They then followed the call of church leaders to emigrate to the United states and go by handcart from Missouri to Salt Lake City to be near the other members of the church.  The sacrifices they made to be near to those who shared their faith are absolutely incredible!  However, it was those sacrifices that grounded them in their faith.  Mom's side of the family has remained active in the church for over 150 years now.  My maternal grandparents have 10 children and I am one of 88 grandchildren.  I have been watching my grandparents, aunts and uncles, and my older cousins as they have raised their families in righteousness.  It is an inspiring thing!
Some of my earliest and fondest childhood memories are of my parents using simple object lessons to teach me and my siblings gospel principles.  My parents aren't perfect, but I always knew they believed - and more importantly that they LIVED - the principles they were trying to teach us.  I may not have always listened to them, but I have grown up watching them.  Not once have I seen them do something contrary to what they have taught me.  While I was growing up we had family scripture study every morning at 6:30.  As a teenager I begrudgingly went to it - most days I was late.  Today, I'm grateful for it because it was in those early morning study sessions that I was taught the doctrines of my faith and the teachings of the Savior.  I'm sure there were days when my parents thought their efforts were futile.  Most days they probably were!  We often fell asleep while following along and would have to nudge awake the person next to us when it was their turn to read.  But every once in a while we'd have a good day where questions were asked and answered, something was learned and the Spirit of God was definitely felt.  Had my parents not been consistent with trying to read the scriptures every day I don't think those moments would have happened like they did.  At the close of our scripture study we would kneel as a family in prayer, both giving thanks for our blessings and asking for protection and guidance during the coming day.  My parents also taught us to pray individually.  I have so many memories of walking into my parents room and catching them on their knees at the foot of their bed.  I pray because they taught me by their example how important it is.
Looking back now, I realize that my testimony is really nothing more than the some total of all those small quiet moments when I felt the Spirit testifying to me that what I was being taught was true.  I'm so glad those moments came so often while I was growing up.  My faith and my testimony have shaped who I have become and will continue to do so for the rest of my life.
When I was in high school I remember thinking, "do I really believe it all?  Is it worth the sacrifices I have to make?  It would be so easy to just quit."  I have come to know that I could never bring myself to leave it all for I could never deny the impressions I have always had that the gospel is true.  I still have thoughts like that from time to time.  I wondered if it would be easy for me to slip quietly away from the faith once I moved out here to go to school.  But I have come to know that it would be impossible!  Sure, I could stop living a faithful life, but I would never be able to deny the things I know in my heart are true.  And because I know it's true I'm going to continue to live it.  My testimony is an integral part of me.  It grounds me and is built on a solid foundation of faith in Christ.
That being said, it hasn't always been easy.  God tests those whom he loves - and boy has my faith been tested.  I have felt the blackness that totally engulfs you when a loved one dies.  I've felt the emptiness the Spirit leaves when it withdraws when I'm out of line.  But ya know what?  I've also felt it's quiet and peaceful return when I humbly seek forgiveness and comfort.  God is always there.  We may not feel Him all the time, but He is always nearby, ready to throw His loving arms around us.  One of my favorite scriptures comes from Isaiah, Chapter 54 verses 7, 8 and 10:
7) For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee.
8) In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer
...
10) For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee.

Elder Jeffrey R Holland, a modern day apostle and a leader in the LDS church put it well in his Sept 2008 address to the Young Single Adults of our church:

I know that God lives, and that He loves me.  His love is boundless and endless.  It is what keeps me going and gives me strength in all that I do.  I am so grateful that I have a knowledge of His love for me.  I am grateful for my parents, grandparents, and great grandparents who all played a part in determining the importance religion plays in my life today.  While I know there will be hard and dark times in life, I also know that God is always there, just around the corner.  I say that in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.